The end of the world gets closer every day #2

Today, while out walking around my neighborhood, I came across the Benaroya Research Institute KIDS Seafair Triathlon. Like triathlons for grown-ups, this one came complete with medals, race numbers (both attached to shirts and written in magic markers on legs), sponsor booths, first aid tents, and more. In addition, in one corner of the park, there was somebody dressed in a fuzzy, purple suit dancing around to "Summer of '69" by Bryan Adams. (Click on the photo above for a closer view.)

The end of the world gets closer every day #1

Friday, July 13, 2012 was EQC Girls Night Out at Safeco Field. In addition to watching the Seattle Mariners lose to the Texas Rangers 3-2, female fans had the opportunity to get manicures, massages, and various beauty treatments. (See photos above and below)

No word yet about when Boys Night Out will be taking place.

Twenty-three haikus written while re-watching Game Six of the 2011 World Series

Below are twenty-three haikus* which I wrote while re-watching Game Six of the 2011 World Series yesterday. 

Introduction

It's nice to know the

Cardinals are going to win

this game we're watching.

Top of the 1st

Jaime Garcia

gives up one run but it could

have been a lot more.

Bottom of the 1st

Lance Berkman swings at

the first pitch he sees and hits

a home run-- Cards lead.

Top of the 2nd

Once more Garcia

gives up one run but it could

have been a lot more.

Bottom of the 2nd

Nick Punto swings and

his bat goes flying-- almost

hits Chris Carpenter.

Top of the 3rd

A double play gets

Jaime Garcia out of

trouble once again.

Bottom of the 3rd

Pujols hits high fly

ball which ends up being caught

at the warning track.

Top of the 4th

Holliday, Salas

both make errors but Texas

only scores one run.

Bottom of the 4th

Texas makes a bunch

of mistakes; Cardinals score one--

game tied yet again.

Top of the 5th

Freese error leads to

Texas run-- Lewis strikes out

with bases loaded.

Bottom of the 5th

Cards down in order--

Washington glad he did not

pinch hit for Lewis?

Top of the 6th

Top of the sixth goes

quickly-- Rangers get one hit

but don't score a run.

Bottom of the 6th

Cards tie game on walk

to Yadi-- Holliday picked

off third and hurts wrist.

Top of the 7th

Home runs by Beltre

and Cruz, plus another run--

Rangers lead by three.

Bottom of the 7th

Cards go in order--

possible final Cardinal

at bat for Albert.

Top of the 8th

Rangers go down one,

two, three-- Buck and McCarver

talk about Albert.

Bottom of the 8th

Craig's home run makes me 

almost as happy today

as it did back then.

Top of the 9th

Rangers do not score

in the top half of the ninth--

Cards have three outs left.

Bottom of the 9th

Freese hits two-out, two-

run triple off right field wall--

Cruz could have caught it.

Top of the 10th

Josh Hamilton hits 

a massive two-run home run--

the crowd is silent.

Bottom of the 10th

Once again down to

the final out-- Berkman drives

in the tying run.

Top of the 11th

Westbrook pitches well--

Rangers get a base runner

on but can not score.

Bottom of the 11th

Cards win, Cards win, Cards

win, Cards win, Cards win, Cards win,

Cards win, Cardinals win!

* or should that be "haiku"?

Transfer rumor #1 - summer 2012 edition

For some reason, in the last one or two dozen hours, the internet has decided that AC Milan are selling Thiago Silva (pictured below) and Zlatan Ibrahimovic (pictured further below) to the French club Paris Saint-Germain (PSG). 

It is possible that the internet has decided to believe this ridiculous rumor because of the statement by AC Milan owner Silvio Berlusconi that the two players have, in fact, been sold. We will keep you posted.

Hockey goals as described by soccer announcers

Apparently this one has been all over the place for the past few days, but if you haven't seen it, it's still worth a look.

Walking the length of Seattle (and back), part two

The second part of the Ape Canyon News Service expedition to walk the length of Seattle and back took place on Thursday, July 11, 2012 (to read about part one, click here). This leg of the walk began at the temporary world headquarters of Ape Canyon News Service near Seward Park-- we set off north along Seward Park Ave S (which subsequently became Wilson Ave S and then 50th Ave S) until we reached Lake Washington Blvd S, on which we walked until we came to the outskirts of downtown Leschi (at which point Lake Washington Blvd S is mysteriously renamed Lakeside Ave S).

Below: The starting line

Our original goal had been only to walk as far as I-90; however, we made such good time that we decided to go an additional half mile or so to get to Leschi.

Here are some important statistics about this portion of the expedition--

• Start time-- 2:06 PM (by a strange coincidence, 206 is also our telephone area code)
• End time-- 5:26 PM  
• Total time of walk-- 3 hours and 20 minutes (two minutes longer than part one of the walk)
• Weather conditions-- warm/hot and sunny
• Total distance traveled round-trip-- approximately 9.2 miles

Above: Alexandra standing in an abandoned tire near the start of our walk. It is unusual to find tires abandoned along this stretch of Wilson Ave S.

Below: A sign we found lying on the sidewalk, also on Wilson Ave S

Along the course of our walk, we encountered numerous people who we knew, including--

• a grade school/high school classmate of Alexandra's who did not seem to notice us (too busy driving a car);
• my ex-wife/Alexandra's mother (she honked and waved as she drove by);
• a friend of some friends who was jogging (we exchanged hellos);
• two former students who were at Mt. Baker beach (they didn't seem to notice us, which was fine by me);
• the daughter of some friends of some friends (we made eye contact but no greetings were exchanged);
• a different former student at Mt. Baker beach on the way back (I suspect he may have noticed me); and
• a former instructional assistant at my daughter's elementary school who pulled her car over to ask if we were who she thought we were (we were).

In addition, we found a large bush that had one hollowed-out section with a mysterious photo inside. (see photo below-- click on the photo for a closer view)

Below: A view of Lake Washington and Mt. Rainier

One important step we took to improve our performance on this part of our expedition was to bring our own snacks rather than relying on purchasing food from local businesses. Alexandra made us trail mix which did an excellent job of providing us with energy for our walk. On the way back, we did stop at Cafe Vitta to buy Alexandra an iced coffee drink, however.

Below: We cross the finish line

Next up-- part three!!!!

What I think I know about this past weekend's Mariners-A's series

The Seattle Mariners were in Oakland this past weekend for a three-game series with the A's. I listened to the last half inning of Friday's game on the radio and saw the last few innings of Sunday's game on television. In addition, I skimmed a few articles on the internet and listened to a couple of minutes of sports talk radio at various points over the weekend. I don't normally follow either club all that closely (although I do live in the same city that the Mariners play in and do have a certain fondness for the A's) and probably could name less than a dozen players who play for the two teams combined. What follows is my report about what happened over the course of this weekend's series. Note-- the spelling of all names is merely an approximation.

• The A's won on Friday night in extra innings. Chris Carter, who I believe is a first baseman, hit a three-run walk-off home run to win the game 4-1. There is no reason to believe that Chris Carter is related to the former Minnesota Vikings wide receiver who has basically the same name. (See photo below)

• The Mariners won 7-1 on Saturday. Vargas pitched well for Seattle. I am pretty sure that his first name is Jason.
• The A's won on Sunday 2-1 in 13 innings (maybe it was 12) on a walk-off double or single (hit by some guy who might have had blond or light-brown hair) that scored Jemil Weeks all the way from first base. I am not actually sure about the spelling of Weeks's first name, but I do wonder if he is related to Ricky Weeks, who might still be playing for the Milwaukee Brewers.
• On Sunday, the starting pitchers were Bartolo Colon and Felix Hernandez. Bartolo Colon is pretty old and doesn't appear to be in the best physical shape, but he apparently still pitches well. Felix Hernandez does pitch well but will someday almost surely leave the Mariners for a far better, far wealthier club. (See photos below)

Above: Bartolo Colon 

Below: Felix Hernandez looking at his glove

• Sunday's game featured an appearance by Mariners reliever Oliver Perez. Some of you may remember Perez from his days as a New York Met, for whom he pitched in the 2006 playoffs.
• Sunday's game was also marked at the end by several visual distractions which made it difficult for the players to field fly balls and pop-ups-- a high sun and a swarm of seagulls flying over the diamond (probably more than a hundred).

Below: An example of seagulls-- not the actual ones from Sunday's game

• On Sunday, both teams wore uniforms different from the ones they normally wear. At first, I took them to be the uniforms of their minor league affiliates, but further research indicates that the teams were wearing throwback uniforms of the Seattle Rainiers and Oakland Oaks of the old Pacific Coast League.
• In each game, the losing team only scored one run.
• The two pitching staffs are ranked first and second in pitching in the American League, but I am not sure which team is first and which is second. I am also not sure what statistics were being used in these rankings. This information comes from the Mariners television announcers during Sunday's game. These announcers also claimed that today's baseball players rarely listen to "oldies music".
• The A's and the Mariners are in 3rd and 4th place respectively in the American League West; the A's are exactly at the .500 mark, and the Mariner's record is around 36-51.

Next up-- the All-Star Game!

For actual, more reliable information about these games, you could start by clicking here, here, or here.

Tennis update-- Wimbledon men's final

In case you missed it, here is the speech Andy Murray gave after losing the men's final match at Wimbledon earlier today--  

Here is Roger Federer's speech after defeating Murray--



And finally, here is information about how members of Federer's family reacted to his victory.

Further update-- For information on how Federer's victory won over 100,000 pounds for the charity Oxfam, click here.

World tennis update-- a correction

Back in 2008, Ape Canyon News Service reported that French Open tennis champion Ana Ivanovic (pictured below making a fist) had spent her childhood years learning to play tennis in an empty swimming pool due to the 1999 NATO bombing of her hometown of Belgrade.

Below: A building damaged by NATO bombing

However, it has recently come to our attention that this frequently-repeated story is not entirely accurate. Apparently, while it is true that Ivanovic and other young Serbian tennis players trained in a facility converted from its former use as a swimming pool, the mental images that many of us had formed of her actually playing in an unchanged, empty swimming pool were not correct.

Below: The facility where Ivanovic practiced. For more photos, click here.

While it is certainly hard to image many of today's top tennis stars practicing in conditions such as this, it is a far cry from the slippery, dimly-lit, empty swimming pool in which we were led to believe Ivanovic was forced to train. Ape Canyon News Service asks that you accept our sincerest apologies for having perpetuated this particular piece of mis-information. We always do our best to provide accurate information to our readers, and, in cases such as this, to correct any mistakes we have made.

Above: A photograph of Ivanovic making a fist

Below: One more photograph of Ivanovic making a fist

Finally: A bonus video for you to enjoy in which Ivanovic discusses the contents of her gym bag.