Picture of the Day

Maybe you've seen this one already, but here it is, just in case-- an angry Pittsburgh Steelers fan throwing her beer at a Denver Broncos fan as the Broncos wrapped up last Sunday night's 31-19 victory.

Seattle Seahawks training camp update #1

Our goal here at Ape Canyon News Service has always been to be the world's number one source of sports-related news, commentary, and analysis. In keeping with that goal, our staff took a trip today down to the Seattle Seahawks training camp at the Virginia Mason Athletic Center on Lake Washington (see photo above). During the month of August, the Seahawks, led by coach Pete Carroll (pictured below wearing white pants), will practice numerous times each week in order to get ready for the upcoming NFL season.

Coming into this year's training camp, the Seahawks have three different players competing to become the starting quarterback-- last year's starter, Tarvaris Jackson; former Green Bay Packers back-up quarterback Matt Flynn; and recently drafted Russell Wilson. During the scrimmage at the end of practice, all three quarterbacks took turns running the offense. (See videos below)

Above: Tarvaris Jackson attempts to complete a pass during a scrimmage

Below: Matt Flynn's turn to throw a pass

Among the returning players who are pretty much guaranteed a spot in the starting lineup is defensive lineman Red Bryant. In addition to doing an excellent job on defense, Bryant holds the single-season Seahawks record for most blocked kick attempts during one season (four). 

During today's practice, Bryant worked on many drills, such as the pass rushing drill in the video above. His performance seemed pretty unremarkable; however, I was curious as to why Bryant appeared to be wearing some sort of pantyhose or stockings under his uniform. (See photo below)

Probably the biggest highlight of today's workout was getting to see offensive lineman John Moffitt vomiting on the sidelines at the start of practice. Moffitt had been having a discussion with fellow offensive lineman Breno Giacomini about the weather-- both players were happy about today's sunshine-- when suddenly Moffitt became violently ill and started throwing up (see photo below). 

Moffitt, who missed the last part of the 2011-12 season due to an injury/suspension for testing positive for banned substances, later on had to ask one of the equipment managers to unlock a door so he could take a quick bathroom break. (See photos below)

Above: Moffitt leaving the practice field

Below: Moffitt waiting for the door to be unlocked

(Click here for a recent video of Moffitt delivering the local weather forecast on television.)

Keep checking back for more on the Seahawks training camp, the regular season, and the rest of the NFL as well-- only thirty-three more days til the start of the regular season!

Below: A storage shed which appeared to hold shelf after shelf of Nike athletic shoes.

What I think I know about this past weekend's Mariners-A's series

The Seattle Mariners were in Oakland this past weekend for a three-game series with the A's. I listened to the last half inning of Friday's game on the radio and saw the last few innings of Sunday's game on television. In addition, I skimmed a few articles on the internet and listened to a couple of minutes of sports talk radio at various points over the weekend. I don't normally follow either club all that closely (although I do live in the same city that the Mariners play in and do have a certain fondness for the A's) and probably could name less than a dozen players who play for the two teams combined. What follows is my report about what happened over the course of this weekend's series. Note-- the spelling of all names is merely an approximation.

• The A's won on Friday night in extra innings. Chris Carter, who I believe is a first baseman, hit a three-run walk-off home run to win the game 4-1. There is no reason to believe that Chris Carter is related to the former Minnesota Vikings wide receiver who has basically the same name. (See photo below)

• The Mariners won 7-1 on Saturday. Vargas pitched well for Seattle. I am pretty sure that his first name is Jason.
• The A's won on Sunday 2-1 in 13 innings (maybe it was 12) on a walk-off double or single (hit by some guy who might have had blond or light-brown hair) that scored Jemil Weeks all the way from first base. I am not actually sure about the spelling of Weeks's first name, but I do wonder if he is related to Ricky Weeks, who might still be playing for the Milwaukee Brewers.
• On Sunday, the starting pitchers were Bartolo Colon and Felix Hernandez. Bartolo Colon is pretty old and doesn't appear to be in the best physical shape, but he apparently still pitches well. Felix Hernandez does pitch well but will someday almost surely leave the Mariners for a far better, far wealthier club. (See photos below)

Above: Bartolo Colon 

Below: Felix Hernandez looking at his glove

• Sunday's game featured an appearance by Mariners reliever Oliver Perez. Some of you may remember Perez from his days as a New York Met, for whom he pitched in the 2006 playoffs.
• Sunday's game was also marked at the end by several visual distractions which made it difficult for the players to field fly balls and pop-ups-- a high sun and a swarm of seagulls flying over the diamond (probably more than a hundred).

Below: An example of seagulls-- not the actual ones from Sunday's game

• On Sunday, both teams wore uniforms different from the ones they normally wear. At first, I took them to be the uniforms of their minor league affiliates, but further research indicates that the teams were wearing throwback uniforms of the Seattle Rainiers and Oakland Oaks of the old Pacific Coast League.
• In each game, the losing team only scored one run.
• The two pitching staffs are ranked first and second in pitching in the American League, but I am not sure which team is first and which is second. I am also not sure what statistics were being used in these rankings. This information comes from the Mariners television announcers during Sunday's game. These announcers also claimed that today's baseball players rarely listen to "oldies music".
• The A's and the Mariners are in 3rd and 4th place respectively in the American League West; the A's are exactly at the .500 mark, and the Mariner's record is around 36-51.

Next up-- the All-Star Game!

For actual, more reliable information about these games, you could start by clicking here, here, or here.

NFL game report: Jacksonville Jaguars 31 - Pittsburgh Steelers 29 (2007 playoffs)

• Date played: January 5, 2008
• Broadcast Network: NBC
• Announcers: Al Michaels and John Madden
• Who I rooted for when this game originally took place: I thought it was the Jaguars, but apparently not (see below)
• Who I now wish had won: Jacksonville
• What happened: Pittsburgh was trailing 28-10 at the start of the fourth quarter but scored three touchdowns and came back to take a 29-28 lead. Jacksonville kicked a field goal with thirty-seven seconds left to win the game.

• Notable players who appeared in this game for Jacksonville: David Garrard (see photo directly above), Maurice Jones-Drew (see photo at very top) , Fred Taylor, Vince Manuwai
• Notable players who appeared in this game for Pittsburgh: Ben Roethlisberger, Hines Ward, Heath Miller, Santonio Holmes, James Farrior, James Harrison, Troy Polamalu
• Controversial aspects of this game: None really-- the officiating could have been a bit better
• Connection between this game and Todd Marinovich: None
• Unusual things about this game: Maurice Jones-Drew returned a kickoff 96 yards without scoring a touchdown.
• Turnovers in this game: Three interceptions by Ben Roethlisberger (two by Rashean Mathis-- one of which was returned for a touchdown-- and one by Derek Landri, a defensive lineman); two interceptions in the second half by David Garrard; one fumble by Ben Roethlisberger on the second-to-last play of the game.
• Important plays in this game: The Steelers scored a touchdown in the fourth quarter to make it 28-23. They successfully completed the two-point conversion, but it was called back on a possibly non-existent holding penalty. They tried again from the twelve yard line but failed. 
• Other important plays in this game: When Pittsburgh scored another touchdown to make it 29-28, they once again failed to make the two-point conversion. This time no penalties were involved.
• The most famous and important play in this game: With under two minutes left and trailing 29-28, Jacksonville faced fourth down and two at the Steelers 43 yard line. The Jaguars called a quarterback draw and David Garrard ran the ball all the way down to the 11 yard line. (See video below)

• Things I remembered incorrectly about this game: I clearly remember watching this game at a pizza place. The Jaguars were wearing their home blue jerseys (not true) and their quarterback was Byron Leftwich (not true-- Leftwich has been cut by Jacksonville before the start of the season). I also clearly remember having secretly rooted for the Jaguars because certain people I was eating with were Steelers fans. A check of my journal entry from the next day, however, reveals the following sentence-- "All four NFL wildcard round playoff games went against me." Other than the eating pizza part, I am not sure what is true anymore.

Below: Byron Leftwich pictured on the Jaguars 2007 schedule

• What happened next: Jacksonville lost in the next round of the playoffs to the New England Patriots. The following season, the Pittsburgh Steelers won the Super Bowl.

What I have been reading lately #50

Just this morning, I finished reading Brian Billick's More Than A Game: The Glorious Present and Uncertain Future of the NFL (co-authored by Michael MacCambridge). Billick is a former offensive coordinator for the Minnesota Vikings and later head coach of the Baltimore Ravens (with whom he won Super Bowl XXXV). He currently works as a commentator for the FOX network, but his name has been mentioned as a possible candidate to fill the vacant head coaching position in Miami.

This book was published in the fall of 2009 and gives a broad overview of the current state of the NFL from the perspective of league officials, owners, general managers, head coaches, assistant coaches, and players. In the book, Billick draws upon both his personal experiences as a player and coach, as well as the insights he gained from the world of television broadcasting. I enjoyed reading this book; however, I am sure that I will have completely forgotten that I ever even read it within a matter of just a few days.

Below: Brian Billick (left) talking to Ravens quarterback Kyle Boller

NFL game report: Kansas City Chiefs 10 - Los Angeles Raiders 6 (1991 playoffs)

• Date played: December 28, 1991
• Broadcast network: ABC
• Announcers: Brent Musburger and Dick Vermeil
• Who I rooted for when this game originally took place: Chiefs (I think)
• Who I now wish had won: Not sure
• What happened: Five interceptions, three fumbles, two missed field goals, and a whole bunch of penalties at the very end. In addition, the game's only touchdown would not have counted under current rules. Barry Word (Chiefs-- 130 yards rushing) and Nick Bell (Raiders-- 107 yards rushing) provided most of the offense.

• Notable players who appeared in this game for Kansas City: Steve DeBerg, John Alt, Dave Szott, Tim Grunhard, Christian Okoye (briefly), Derrick Thomas, Dan Saleaumua, Neil Smith, Deron Cherry (see photos above)
• Notable players who appeared in this game for Los Angeles: Todd Marinovich (see photo below), Marcus Allen, Willie Gault, Steve Wisniewski, Don Mosebar, Max Montoya, Howie Long, Bob Golic, Greg Townsend, Winston Moss, Lionel Washington, Ronnie Lott, Eddie Anderson
• Controversial aspects of this game: The previous week the Raiders had benched starter Jay Schroeder in favor of rookie Todd Marinovich. Despite the Raiders' loss, Marinovich had played well and was given the starter's job in the rematch against the Chiefs. Marinovich was the second-youngest quarterback to ever start an NFL playoff game up to that time.

• Raiders head coach: Art Shell
• Chiefs head coach: Marty Shottenheimer
• Chiefs assistant coaches who would go on to become head coaches: Bill Cowher, Tony Dungy, Herman Edwards
• Connection between this game and Todd Marinovich: Marinovich played in this game.

Below: A post-game interview with Todd Marinovich

• Players with enormous shoulder pads: Chiefs linebacker Tracy Simien (no photo available at this time)
• Players who were 37 years old during this game: Steve DeBerg
• Players who had won five consecutive games against the Raiders prior to this game: Steve DeBerg
• Players with amazing play fakes on play-action passes: Steve DeBerg
• Players who had to be rushed to the hospital with irregular heartbeats: Derrick Thomas (see photo below)

• People associated with this game who resemble John Cleese: Kansas City place kicker Nick Lowery
• Players who weighed 151 pounds during this game: Kansas City wide receiver J.J. Birden
• Players who did not appear in this game but are nonetheless important to world history: Raiders third-string quarterback Vince Evans (see photo below)

• What happened next: The Chiefs lost in the next round of the playoffs to the Buffalo Bills; Todd Marinovich played one more season in the NFL; Steve Deberg can be relatively easily reached on the internet; Derrick Thomas died after a car crash; Dick Vermeil won the Super Bowl as coach of the St. Louis Rams.

NFL game report: Titans 22 - Bills 16 (1999 playoffs)

• Date played: January 8, 2000
• Broadcast network: ABC
• Broadcasters: Mike Patrick, Joe Theismann, Paul Maguire
• Who I rooted for when this game originally took place: Titans (I think)
• Who I now wish had won: Titans
• What happened: Tennessee led 12-0 at halftime. Buffalo came back to take a 13-12 lead early in the 4th quarter. Titan's kicker Al Del Greco kicked a 36 yard field goal with under two minutes left. Steve Christie kicked a 41 yard field goal with :20 left to give Buffalo the lead back. Tennessee returned the ensuing kickoff 75 yards to win the game. (Video below-- not the ABC announcers, however)

• Notable players who appeared in this game for Buffalo: Bruce Smith, Thurman Thomas, Steve Christie, Andre Reed, Peerless Price
• Notable players who appeared in this game for Tennessee: Steve McNair, Eddie George, Jevon Kearse, Samari Rolle, Al Del Greco
• Controversial aspects of this game: The final play; Bill's coach Wade Phillips's decision to start Rob Johnson (pictured below) at quarterback instead of Doug Flutie.

• Connection between this game and Todd Marinovich: Prior to this game, there had been only three other occasions when a quarterback had started every game of the NFL season except the last game and then not started in the playoffs. One of the other times was in 1991, when Marinovich replaced Jay Schroeder as Raiders quarterback in back-to-back games against Kansas City.
• People associated with this game who resemble Bob Newhart: Wade Phillips
• Things I remembered incorrectly about this game: I thought that the game was played on astroturf, not grass. I also remembered there being a bit of snow on the field.

• How this game would be remembered in an alternate universe: As the Rob Johnson shoe game, rather than as Music City Miracle. Johnson, who had been playing rather badly all game, led the Bills to a seemingly-victorious final drive as time wound down. At one point, Johnson had lost one of his shoes, but rather than spike the ball and stop the clock, he completed a crucial pass to bring Buffalo into easier field goal position.
• What happened next: Tennessee won their next two playoff games before losing in the Super Bowl. (Video below) Steve McNair was killed by his girlfriend in 2009. The Bills have only had one winning season since this game and have not made the playoffs once in that time.

• A poem written around the time this game originally took place:

TITANS BEAT BILLS

The television sets

are filled

with terrible news!

Football players

act like houses

on wheels—

they look busy

and blame their troubles

on an angry God!

Picture of the day: It is all coming together now

Here at Ape Canyon News Service, we have spent most of the summer worrying about unsigned NBA guard Allen Iverson and a little bit of the summer learning about former NFL quarterback Doug Williams. Then today we stumbled across this photograph (above) showing Allen Iverson wearing a Doug Williams Tampa Bay Buccaneers jersey. We do not know when the photograph was taken, but it appears to be at some sort of 3-point shootout sponsored by the Foot Locker corporation.

What I have been reading lately #33

First things first: the rules of being a Warner by Kurt and Brenda Warner with Jennifer Schuchmann

Kurt Warner is an NFL quarterback who has been to the Super Bowl three times (with the St. Louis Rams and Arizona Cardinals). The story of his rise from grocery shelf stocker to Arena Football League player and finally to NFL star has been told and re-retold many, many times. He and his wife Brenda have seven children (five together and two from her previous marriage, including one who has brain-damage and blindness due to a childhood accident). Together, they have written a book describing how they balance his NFL career with their family life, all while giving back to the community and being good Christians.

Below: Kurt Warner gets ready to throw the football.

I finished reading this book a few days ago, and I have been thinking since then about what I wanted to say about it. Unfortunately, I have not been able to put my thoughts into words. Everything I try to write seems insincere and inadequate. If anyone else has read this book, please contact me. Maybe you can help.

Below: Kurt and Brenda Warner working on a Habitat-for-Humanity project.

What I have been watching lately #4 -- is Eddie LeBaron the smartest person who ever lived or merely the smartest professional athlete who ever lived?

This summer I have been watching re-runs of the 1970s television sports quiz show Sports Challenge on ESPN Classic. Sports Challenge was a game show hosted by Dick Enberg (pictured above) that featured current and former players from various professional sports teams competing against each other in a test of sports knowledge. For example, yesterday's episode featured stars of the Cleveland Indians versus stars of the Dallas Cowboys.

The Cowboys were represented by two former quarterbacks -- Eddie LeBaron and Don Meredith -- and one wide receiver -- Frank Clarke. (See photo above - LeBaron is on the left) It is clear from watching the show that Eddie LeBaron is either the smartest person who ever lived or else the smartest professional athlete who ever lived. He knew almost all the answers and often answered before even hearing the entire question. His teammates, especially Don Meredith, seemed constantly amazed by his abilities.

Below: The Cowboys team has a chance to talk to special mystery guest Billy Jean King.

Eddie LeBaron played for both the Washington Redskins and Dallas Cowboys during his career. In addition to being a football player, he also served in the military in the Korean War (see photo below) and became an attorney after retiring from the NFL. Frank Clarke also led an interesting life after football, becoming part of several alternative spiritual movements before settling down for a long career in the childcare field. Don Meredith, of course, is known by most Americans as one of the most beloved hosts of ABC's Monday Night Football.

What I have been reading lately #31

Quarterblack: Shattering the NFL Myth by Doug Williams with Bruce Hunter

Doug Williams was an NFL quarterback during the late 1970s and throughout the 1980s for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Washington Redskins. (He also played several years for the Oklahoma/Arizona Outlaws of the now-defunct USFL.) In 1988, he became the first black player to start as quarterback in the Super Bowl. His Redskins defeated the Denver Broncos 42-10. (See photo below)

Shortly after his career was over, Doug Williams wrote his autobiography. Here are some important facts from his book and elsewhere:

• Doug Williams had a secret root canal operation on a tooth the day before the Super Bowl.
• In the middle of Super Bowl XXII, I was obliged to drive to the Amtrak station in Meriden, CT to pick up a friend of a friend. The friend of a friend was kind of a jerk and did not seem to appreciate the magnitude of the favor of was doing him (who I'd never met before) by picking him up during the Super Bowl, but I did not really care, because by then John Elway (pictured below) and the Denver Broncos were losing, and that was all that really mattered.

• In 1979 (only his second year in the league and the team's fourth), Doug Williams led the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to the NFC Championship game.
• Doug Williams now works as Coordinator of Pro Scouting for the Buccaneers. He is very excited about their first round draft pick, Josh Freeman of Kansas State University.

Below: Doug Williams

NFL training camp update #1

Former University of Missouri Tigers quarterback Chase Daniel was not picked in this year's NFL draft (despite being featured in an article in The New Yorker). However, he has signed a contract with the Washington Redskins and is competing for the 3rd string QB position.

For a unexpectedly lengthy interview, click here. To follow Chase Daniel on Twitter, click here.

Six months have passed, and I can hardly remember the Super Bowl

Six months and two days have passed since Super Bowl XLIII, and, thankfully, I can barely remember what happened. I remember that at the end of the first half, the Arizona Cardinals were deep in Pittsburgh territory and were about to score, but Kurt Warner threw an interception and that one guy for the Steelers ran it all the way back for a touchdown and collapsed into the end zone. I also remember that the Cardinals were leading late, but then the Steelers scored. I really wanted that guy's feet (see photo above) to be out of bounds, but they weren't. Finally I remember that with about five seconds left, the Steelers player knocked the ball out of Kurt Warner's hand and the referees ruled it a fumble and didn't even bother to review it using instant replay. (Although, maybe they did after all.)

I am just happy that the human brain can deal with tragedy and injustice by simply forgetting about it. Imagine how horrible our lives would be if we had to remember everything.

What I have been reading lately #30

Hero of the Underground by Jason Peter with Tony O'Neill

Jason Peter was an All-American defensive lineman for the University of Nebraska during the 1990s. From there, he went on to play for the Carolina Panthers. His career, however, was cut short by injuries, and he quickly sank into the world of drug abuse. This book tells about his years spent abusing drugs and then finally recovering.

Interesting facts about this book:

• On the cover it says, "My journey down to heroin-- and back". It probably should read, "My journey from prescription painkillers to cocaine to crack cocaine to heroin (with a little crystal meth as well)-- and back". Maybe there wasn't room to put all that, or maybe the publishers just thought heroin sounded the scariest, but I think the jacket blurb misrepresents the book.
• Jason Peter has very strong views on different treatment options, mostly quite negative. He is especially annoyed at psychologists, group meetings, 12 step programs, religion, and treating addiction as a disease.
• Jason Peter also has very, very unpleasant things to say about former Notre Dame coach Lou Holtz, specifically about how Lou Holtz treated Peter's younger brother.
• Reading about people's completely deranged drug binges and then futile efforts to quit can actually be sort of boring after awhile. I still liked the book, however.

Abandoned books and/or movies #4-- more information about false memory #2?

Black and Honolulu Blue: In the Trenches of the NFL by Keith Dorney

In 1979, the Detroit Lions went 2-14, tying them for the worst record in the NFL that year. 1980 was a much better year for Detroit - during the offseason they drafted Billy Sims and started off the season 5-1. In the middle of this, veteran defensive back Jimmy "Spiderman" Allen recorded and released his own version of the popular song "Another One Bites the Dust," in which he explained how the Lions were going to defeat all their opponents. The lyrics included such statements as, "Come and watch the Detroit Lions that no one seems to beat," and "Last year's team was 2 and 14, but this is the year for New Orleans" (ie, Super Bowl XV, played in New Orleans). The song was a fan favorite in the Detroit area.

Despite the fact that Detroit finished the season 9-7, tying for first in the NFC Central Division and just barely missing the playoffs, the Lions were ridiculed for years to come because of Allen's song. According to Keith Dorney:

• That stupid song was rubbed into our faces time and time again and was played by our opponent's band after every away loss we suffered for years to come. How humiliating it was to hear Bamp, bamp, bamp. Another one bites the dust! as we walked off the field after a loss. (page 37)

Click here to find a link to the song. It is at the bottom of the article, before the comments section.

Click here to find out more about false memory #2?.

Matt Tuiasosopo currently plays for the Tacoma Rainiers

Last Tuesday, July 21, 2009, my daughter and I went to watch the Tacoma Rainiers lose 11-7 to the Sacramento River Cats. The Rainiers are the Triple-A affiliate of the Seattle Mariners. Here are some important facts you may need to know about Rainiers third baseman Matt Tuiasosopo (pictured above):

• Matt Tuiasosopo has good speed and is an excellent bunter. In his first at-bat, he bunted down the third base line and reached first base without a throw.
• Matt Tuiasosopo comes from a very athletic family. His father, Manu Tuiasosopo, played for the Seattle Seahawks and San Francisco 49ers of the NFL. One of his brothers, Marques Tuiasosopo, played quarterback for the University of Washington Huskies and later briefly with the New York Jets and Oakland Raiders of the NFL. Another brother, Zach Tuiasosopo, also played for the UW Huskies.

Below, Marques Tuiasosopo

• According to one of the gentlemen sitting behind us (see photo below - I am not sure which gentleman it was, however), his granddaughter played fast pitch softball with Matt Tuiasosopo's sister, and the entire family, including the more famous brothers, would come to watch her games.

• Matt Tuiasosopo was called out for interference in the first inning when he slid too hard into second base trying to break up a double play. The slide was more of a roll than a slide and was similar to the kind of block an overmatched running back might make on a blitzing linebacker.
• Matt Tuiasosopo's at-bat theme song is the same as my wife's ringback on her cell phone.
• Matt Tuiasosopo had a double at some point during the game.
• At another point, one of the Rivers Cats batters hit a pop up down the left field line. Matt Tuiasosopo turned and ran after the ball, and it looked like he was going to make a nice over-the-shoulder catch, but then he missed it. The batter ended up with a double, I believe.

Above, Matt Tuiasosopo at third base

• Matt Tuiasosopo struck out twice during the game. (See video below - watch how Matt Tuiasosopo refuses to leave home plate for a long time after being called out.)

• Matt Tuiasosopo grounded into a double play to end the game. This was one of four double plays the River Cats turned that night.