Match report: Milan 0 - Inter 4

Timeline of a disaster:

18'-- Gennaro Gattuso appears to have injured his leg but continues to play.

29'-- Thiago Motta scores for Inter (0-1).

35'-- Gattuso fouls Eto'o in the penalty area and is given a yellow card.

36'-- Milito scores the penalty kick for Inter (0-2).

38'-- Gattuso is too injured to go on and demands to be taken off. He continues to play while Seedorf takes his tracksuit off and gets ready to enter the game.

40'-- Gattuso fouls Wesley Sneijder and receives second yellow card. Gattuso is ejected and furiously throws his captain's armband to the ground.

45+'-- Maicon scores for Inter (0-3).

67'-- Stankovic scores for Inter (0-4).

90'-- Referee Nicola Rizzoli blows his whistle without allowing for any added time.

• What this match teaches us: Milan may not be very good this year.
• What else this match teaches us: It is quite possible that Gattuso is actually insane.

Below: Gattuso leaves the pitch after receiving the red card.

Below: Gattuso, from last season

What I have been reading lately #34

Ronnie by Ronnie Wood

For over thirty years, Ronnie Wood has been one of the guitar players for the Rolling Stones. Before that, he played with the Faces and the Jeff Beck Group. This book is his autobiography, and here are some facts I learned while reading it:

• Ronnie Wood was one of the first members of his family born on dry land -- he describes his family as "water gypsies" and says previous members had always been born on canal barges.
• Ronnie Wood's family and school were both very supportive of his musical and artistic talents as a youth.
• Ronnie Wood has met, has hung out with, knows, or has partied with every single important person in the last forty years of music and entertainment, and he mentions each and every one in his book. Examples include Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Rod Stewart, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Ronnie Lane, Bob Dylan, Bob Marley, Jimmy Cliff, Graham Chapman, Ginger Baker, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Keith Moon, Bo Diddley, Muddy Waters, Howling Wolf, Patti Boyd, George Harrison, John Lennon, John Belushi, Bill Murray, Groucho Marx, Tony Curtis, Maradona, Pete Townsend, Eric Clapton, and Jimi Hendrix.
• While driving his first wife to the hospital to deliver their first child, he and his friends gave rides home to California Governor Jerry Brown and actor Warren Beatty.
• Ronnie Wood picked out furniture for his new baby's bedroom with the help of Diana Ross.

Below: The Faces

• During the course of his career, Ronnie Wood has earned and squandered a lot of money.
• In addition to being a professional musician, Ronnie Wood also paints and draws and has made a lot of money selling his artwork.
• Ronnie Wood seems like one of the happiest, most easy-going people who ever existed.

Below: Ronnie Wood with some of his children.

AC Milan official (but sad) note

This official note was posted on the AC Milan website a short while ago:

A.C. MILAN OFFICIAL NOTE

8/28/2009

MILAN - A.C. Milan communicate they have mutually resolved the working contract with the footballers Mathias Cardacio and Tabaré Viudez. Thanking them for what they have shown during their experience with the Rossoneri, Milan wish the two young footballers all the best for their future.

What this means, in plain English, is that the two Uruguayan players have been released by the team. Even though the rarely played last year, it was always exciting wondering if they would make an appearance as a late substitute during a game. They will be missed.

Above: Viudez

Below: Cardacio

Picture of the day: It is all coming together now

Here at Ape Canyon News Service, we have spent most of the summer worrying about unsigned NBA guard Allen Iverson and a little bit of the summer learning about former NFL quarterback Doug Williams. Then today we stumbled across this photograph (above) showing Allen Iverson wearing a Doug Williams Tampa Bay Buccaneers jersey. We do not know when the photograph was taken, but it appears to be at some sort of 3-point shootout sponsored by the Foot Locker corporation.

Champions League draw

The groups were chosen for the Champions League today. Milan will be in Group C along with Olympique de Marseille, FC Zurich, and Real Madrid. If you have forgotten why this might be interesting, see the photo below.

More about what other people are doing with Lego

The Bible has now been translated into Lego. (Above: the animals enter Noah's Ark two by two)

In addition, the NBA has also been translated into Lego.

Above: Antoine Walker, Vince Carter, Kevin Garnett, and friends playing basketball

Siena 1 - Milan 2: Video highlights from Saturday's match

What I have been reading lately #33

First things first: the rules of being a Warner by Kurt and Brenda Warner with Jennifer Schuchmann

Kurt Warner is an NFL quarterback who has been to the Super Bowl three times (with the St. Louis Rams and Arizona Cardinals). The story of his rise from grocery shelf stocker to Arena Football League player and finally to NFL star has been told and re-retold many, many times. He and his wife Brenda have seven children (five together and two from her previous marriage, including one who has brain-damage and blindness due to a childhood accident). Together, they have written a book describing how they balance his NFL career with their family life, all while giving back to the community and being good Christians.

Below: Kurt Warner gets ready to throw the football.

I finished reading this book a few days ago, and I have been thinking since then about what I wanted to say about it. Unfortunately, I have not been able to put my thoughts into words. Everything I try to write seems insincere and inadequate. If anyone else has read this book, please contact me. Maybe you can help.

Below: Kurt and Brenda Warner working on a Habitat-for-Humanity project.

Match report: Siena 1 - AC Milan 2

Milan started off their season today with a 2-1 victory in Siena. Here are the important statistics:

• Goals scored: Pato 29', Ghezzal 34', Pato 48'
• Goals scored by AC Milan which were correctly disallowed for offside: 1 (22'- Ronaldinho took a free kick and it wound up in the net. Either Pato deflected it with his head or obstructed the goalkeeper. In either event, he was offside.)
• Milan players unable to play due to suspensions from last season: 1 -- Huntelaar
• Surprising Milan starters: 1 -- Marco Storari (goalkeeper)
• Milan substitutions: Ambrosini replaced Gattuso early in the second half
• Number of Milan starters who appeared to be very tan: 11
• Number of Milan starters who still resemble actor Chevy Chase: 1 -- Marco Borriello (see photos below)

It might be hard to tell which one is which.

• Number of loud explosions : 0
• Number of Milan yellow cards: 1 -- Pato for dissent
• Number of amazing bicycle kicks that would have been goals except for great saves: 1 -- by Ronaldinho
• Number of Siena players with bloody noses: 1
• Number of Siena players with amusing names: 1 -- Reginaldo
• Number of excellent performances by Milan players that probably went unnoticed: 2 -- Flamini and Borriello (the latter especially on defense)
• Number of minutes played by Pippo Inzaghi: 0
• Number of times Inzaghi was called offside: 0
• Notable accomplishments: Milan managed to hold on to the lead for 45 whole minutes.
• Other notable aspects of the game: There was a lot of yelling, pushing and shoving after the final whistle.
• What this match teaches us: Pato might score a lot of goals this year.

For more information, click here.

Match report: Seattle Sounders FC 0 -- New England Revolution 1

The Sounders hosted the Revolution last night. Seattle attacked most of the game, but they couldn't score. New England's Shalrie Joseph scored a goal while being pulled down in the penalty area. Seattle's Fredy Montero missed a penalty by hitting the crossbar. (Video, sort of, below)

The Sounders fans, especially the ones at our end, did a lot of singing and chanting. (See video below)

Welcome to Green Hell read the tiny banner all the way at the other end of the field.

For real highlights, click here.

AC Milan announces jersey numbers for 2009-2010

Here is the complete list of numbers for each player on this year's roster:

1 - Nelson Dida
4 - Kaladze
5 - Oguchi Onyewu
7 - Alexandre Pato
8 - Rino Gattuso
9 - Filippo Inzaghi
10 - Clarence Seedorf
11 - Klaas Jan Huntelaar
12 - Christian Abbiati
13 - Alessandro Nesta
15 - Gianluca Zambrotta
16 - Mathieu Flamini
17 - Gianmarco Zigoni
18 - Marek Jankulovski
19 - Giuseppe Favalli
20 - Ignazio Abate
21 - Andrea Pirlo
22 - Marco Borriello
23 - Massimo Ambrosini
25 - Daniele Bonera
30 - Marco Storari
31 - Flavio Roma
33 - Thiago Silva
44 - Massimo Oddo
49 - Davide Di Gennaro
77 - Luca Antonini
80 - Ronaldinho

What I have been reading lately #32

Eight is Enough by Tom Braden

I just finished reading Tom Braden's autobiographical book about parenting, Eight is Enough. Tom Braden was a newspaper columnist and publisher and also had a large family, including eight children. The book is about Braden's experiences being a father. The book served as the basis for the popular television show of the same name that was on the air in the late 1970s and early 1980s.

Above: Tom Braden and his real-life family

Below: The Bradford family from the television show

While the book is very similar to the television show, there are some important differences:

• In the television show, the family's last name is changed from Braden to Bradford.
• In the book, the family lives in Virginia, Maryland, and southern California. In the television program, they live in Sacramento, California.
• In the television show, the mother (Joan) dies and is replaced by a step-mother (Abby). This was due to the unfortunate death of the actress playing the mother during the first season of the show and did not happen in the book.
• In the television show, Tom Bradford is pretty much a regular guy working as a columnist for a Sacramento newspaper. In the book, we find out that Tom Braden and his wife Joan were friends with such noted people as Robert Kennedy, Jack Kennedy, Jackie Kennedy, Jack Valenti, Yitzhak Rabin, William O. Douglas, Edward Bennett Williams, and Henry Kissinger.
• In the book, Braden is critical of the Nixon administration and tentatively accepts many of the counter-cultural changes that took place in the late 1960s and early 1970s. The television show generally steered clear of such potentially controversial topics.

Above: Robert Kennedy

Below: Yitzhak Rabin

Below: Henry Kissinger talking on the telephone

One thing that is not mentioned in the book is the fact that Tom Braden was at one point a CIA operative and participated in anti-communist efforts as a journalist during the Cold War (including once publishing an article in the Saturday Evening Post entitled "Why I'm Glad the CIA is Immoral").

Below: The opening of Eight is Enough from Season Two. Notice that they have started using the signature theme song yet.

What people are doing with Lego

Warning: This video does contain bad language.

For an idea of what some other people are doing with Lego, click here.

The Premier League season has begun: Everton 1 - Arsenal 6 (Eduardo scores!)

This season, there are three English clubs that are thought to have a chance of breaking the Premier League stranglehold held by the top four teams (Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool, and Arsenal): Everton (because they try hard and make do with less), Aston Villa (I'm not actually sure why), and Manchester City (because they are owned by members of the Abu Dhabi royal family and have a lot of money to spend.)

Unfortunately, Everton had their first match of the season today, and things did not look good. They were annihilated 6-1 at home by Arsenal, and, obviously, looked terrible in the process. One happy note, however (at least for Arsenal) -- Arsenal's final goal was scored by Eduardo. Eduardo has not scored a Premier League goal since February of 2008 due to a hideous leg injury he suffered later that month in a match against Birmingham City.

Photos-- Above: Everton goalie Tim Howard fails to stop Arsenal's first goal by Denilson. There would be more.

Below: Eduardo scores an otherwise-meaningless goal in the 88th minute.

Update on the beer-throwing Cubs fan

As reported earlier, on Wednesday night a Cubs fan threw beer at Philadelphia Phillies centerfielder Shane Victorino. Another fan was blamed for the incident, which allowed the real culprit to escape. Later, however, he turned himself in to police and now faces some kind of criminal charges.

The fan's name is Johnny Macchione, and he has been very apologetic about what happened. At least one public relations expert thinks that Macchione has done a very good job at handling the incident. The fan who was inaccurately blamed for the incident is actually the cousin of Macchione's friend. Both men have subsequently spoken to Chicago media about what happened.

What's Good On YouTube These Days?

I think I have fallen into a rut of geeky youtube videos, because I just found out that the people from my two favorite YouTube channels (Commuity Channel and Charlieissocoollike) just met each other at Comic-Con, a comic convention in San Diego (and they're from Australia and England, respectively, so that's not just a chance thing that they ended up there).

The Community Channel ("where cool comes to die") is run by an Australian girl named Natalie. Her videos are very funny and pretty random. She does her main video segment, then features pictures she took with fans (apparently she's pretty famous!) and funny comments from her last video. Most of her videos are completely relatable (like when you eat almost all the cereal and then leave the box because "Somebody might want the rest." Or when you take the free toiletries from hotel rooms.) Some of my favorite videos are: "Neglected Key Strokes," "Not Sorry Now," and "Free Stuff is Better."

And here is "Neglected Keystrokes!":




My other favorite channel is Charlieissocoollike. And Charlie is SO cool... like... Charlie is a member of the band Chameleon Circuit. Chameleon Circuit is a band from England, and all they sing is Doctor Who themed songs. (If you don't know the TV show Doctor Who, then don't even bother reading this). And on their new CD (their first CD) they have such songs as "Gallifreyan History 101", "Blink," "Friends of the Ood," and "Exterminate, Regenerate."

And here is "An Awful Lot of Running" by Chameleon Circuit:

What I have been listening to lately #21

Last night's Phillies-Cubs game

The Cubs were losing again, and the fans were angry. Someone threw a beer at Phillies centerfielder Shane Victorino while Victorino was trying to catch a fly ball. Cubs security guards grabbed the wrong guy, and now the police are looking for the real beer thrower.

For video of the incident, click here. For predictable world-wide reaction, click here.

Update (later the same day): The wanted beer-thrower has turned himself in to police.

What I have been watching lately #4 -- is Eddie LeBaron the smartest person who ever lived or merely the smartest professional athlete who ever lived?

This summer I have been watching re-runs of the 1970s television sports quiz show Sports Challenge on ESPN Classic. Sports Challenge was a game show hosted by Dick Enberg (pictured above) that featured current and former players from various professional sports teams competing against each other in a test of sports knowledge. For example, yesterday's episode featured stars of the Cleveland Indians versus stars of the Dallas Cowboys.

The Cowboys were represented by two former quarterbacks -- Eddie LeBaron and Don Meredith -- and one wide receiver -- Frank Clarke. (See photo above - LeBaron is on the left) It is clear from watching the show that Eddie LeBaron is either the smartest person who ever lived or else the smartest professional athlete who ever lived. He knew almost all the answers and often answered before even hearing the entire question. His teammates, especially Don Meredith, seemed constantly amazed by his abilities.

Below: The Cowboys team has a chance to talk to special mystery guest Billy Jean King.

Eddie LeBaron played for both the Washington Redskins and Dallas Cowboys during his career. In addition to being a football player, he also served in the military in the Korean War (see photo below) and became an attorney after retiring from the NFL. Frank Clarke also led an interesting life after football, becoming part of several alternative spiritual movements before settling down for a long career in the childcare field. Don Meredith, of course, is known by most Americans as one of the most beloved hosts of ABC's Monday Night Football.

What I have been listening to lately #20

A note to visiting baseball players and front-office personnel about pedestrian safety in Seattle

Many visitors to Seattle (and other west coast cities) do not realize that expectations for pedestrians are different here than in other cities. Specifically, police officers will give tickets to people who cross at the middle of the block or against the light at the crosswalk. Yesterday, Chicago White Sox general manager Ken Williams (pictured above) found this out for himself when he was stopped outside Safeco Field before his team's game against the Mariners and given a ticket for jaywalking.

However, this is actually not the most important baseball/pedestrian safety event to ever take place in Seattle. The most important baseball/pedestrian safety event to ever take place in Seattle is the time in 2008 that a police officer stopped Manny Ramirez for jaywalking outside the stadium after a game and did not even know who Manny was.

Update (later that same day): White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen expressed interest in also getting a ticket for jaywalking.

Picture of the day - how Sidney Crosby spent his summer vacation

In case you didn't notice, the Pittsburgh Penguins beat the Detroit Red Wings to win the Stanley Cup finals this year. Each player gets to have the trophy for a little while.

Interesting junk e-mail #1

I once subscribed to a Brazilian petroleum industry on-line newsletter, and now I got unsolicited emails that have things like this in them:

Even more about Klaas-Jan Huntelaar

On August 6, 2009, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar spoke to the Milan Channel. Here are his words:

More about Klaas-Jan Huntelaar

The video below was taken when Milan's newest signing, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar, still played for Ajax. Practicing with him is Luis Saurez.

All about bobblehead dolls

The Seattle Weekly website has an interesting article about Seattle Mariners bobbleheads and how they are made.

AC Milan sign a new striker

All summer long AC Milan fans have been waiting to find out who the club would sign to replace the world famous player who just left. Rumors about Edin Dzeko and Luis Fabiano turned out not to be true, and, given Milan's disastrous pre-season form, many fans were quite worried. But, finally, today the club announced the signing of Klaas-Jan Huntelaar from Real Madrid.

For highlights, watch the video below. Huntelaar, it seems, is fond of bicycle kicks.

What I have been reading lately #31

Quarterblack: Shattering the NFL Myth by Doug Williams with Bruce Hunter

Doug Williams was an NFL quarterback during the late 1970s and throughout the 1980s for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Washington Redskins. (He also played several years for the Oklahoma/Arizona Outlaws of the now-defunct USFL.) In 1988, he became the first black player to start as quarterback in the Super Bowl. His Redskins defeated the Denver Broncos 42-10. (See photo below)

Shortly after his career was over, Doug Williams wrote his autobiography. Here are some important facts from his book and elsewhere:

• Doug Williams had a secret root canal operation on a tooth the day before the Super Bowl.
• In the middle of Super Bowl XXII, I was obliged to drive to the Amtrak station in Meriden, CT to pick up a friend of a friend. The friend of a friend was kind of a jerk and did not seem to appreciate the magnitude of the favor of was doing him (who I'd never met before) by picking him up during the Super Bowl, but I did not really care, because by then John Elway (pictured below) and the Denver Broncos were losing, and that was all that really mattered.

• In 1979 (only his second year in the league and the team's fourth), Doug Williams led the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to the NFC Championship game.
• Doug Williams now works as Coordinator of Pro Scouting for the Buccaneers. He is very excited about their first round draft pick, Josh Freeman of Kansas State University.

Below: Doug Williams