I have a Mike Cameron bobblehead doll

I am not sure when or how or why this Mike Cameron bobblehead doll came into my house. All I know is that for many years I have dusted my Mike Cameron bobblehead doll and re-attached his head when it fell off and moved my Mike Cameron bobblehead doll to ever-more obscure locations in my house in the hopes that he would not be noticed by the enemies* of Mike Cameron or of Mike Cameron bobblehead dolls. (Most recently, I moved my Mike Cameron bobblehead doll from the window over the kitchen sink to a cabinet in the corner of the living room where he hid behind a lamp and a plant and some family photographs and a turtle ashtray that came from my grandparents' house).

* By "enemies," I mean my wife, who, despite her recent attempts to impress our eight year-old nephew from New Zealand by telling him that it was "her" Mike Cameron bobblehead doll, usually only refers to the Mike Cameron bobblehead doll in such sentences as, "What are you going to do with that Mike Cameron bobblehead doll?" or "When are you going to get rid of your Mike Cameron bobblehead doll?"

Here are some statistics that only a true owner of a Mike Cameron bobblehead doll would know:

• Mike Cameron has played for six major league teams - the White Sox, Reds, Mariners, Mets, Padres, and Brewers.
• Mike Cameron once hit four home runs in one game (on May 2, 2002 for the Seattle Mariners against the Chicago White Sox). This ties him with fourteen other major leaguers for the most home runs in one game.
• Mike Cameron is an excellent outfielder and has won the Gold Glove Award two times.
• While playing for the New York Mets, Mike Cameron had a terrible collision in the outfield with teammate Carlos Beltran.
• Mike Cameron was suspended by Major League Baseball for the first 25 games of the 2008 season for using a banned stimulant.
• Mike Cameron's book, It Takes A Team: Mike Cameron, is ranked number 1, 754,340 on Amazon's sales rankings.