Highlights from three different recent important matches that Milan won by a score of 3-0

February 28, 2011: Milan 3 - Napoli 0

April 2, 2011: Milan 3 - Inter 0

April 16, 2011: Milan 3 - Sampdoria 0

Scenes from the Derby della Madonnina in the recent past

Please pay careful attention. I am not sure what any of this means, however.

I watched an entire season of soccer for this?

Inter Milan won this year's Coppa Italia (goal by Milito). They won the Scudetto on the final day (goal by Milito). Then they won the Champions League final (2-0, goals by Milito-- when I wrote that Milito was a player to watch out for, I didn't mean latter that same day). The only remaining question was how quickly Jose Mourinho would announce that he is leaving Inter Milan. The only bright spot for AC Milan fans is that Inter's win means that that Serie A will still have four Champions League slots instead of three (at least for the next couple of years). I am not sure why anyone would want to watch the highlights, but here they are.

World Cup Preview: Players to watch out for

Above: Diego Milito (Argentina/Inter Milan)

Above: Wesley Sneijder (Holland/Inter Milan)

Above: Antonio Di Natale (Italy/Udinese)

Above: Nadir Belhadj (Algeria/Portsmouth)

Serie A update: Massimo Moratti celebrates his birthday

Italian oil tycoon Massimo Moratti (pictured above) celebrated his 65th birthday today by traveling to Siena to watch the team he owns (Inter Milan) play against 19th place AC Siena. Inter needed either a win or a Roma tie/loss in order to win their fifth straight Serie A title. At one point in the second half, however, Roma were winning and Inter were still stuck in a goalless draw.

Luckily for Mr. Moratti, Diego Milito finally scored for Inter (see photo below) and Inter went on to win 1-0.

Below: Zanetti and Milito (right) celebrate the game's only goal

Above: Inter celebrate

Below: Inter coach Jose Mourinho waves his commemorative t-shirt. Up next for Inter-- the Champions League final against Bayern Munich

Some people might say, "Happy birthday, Massimo Moratti!" Those sorts of people might also enjoy watching the highlights below. Others wouldn't.

World soccer update

Above: Inter manager Jose Mourinho runs onto the field to grab a stray ball. (There also seems to be a balloon on the pitch as well.)

At one point today, first place Inter Milan were beating Chievo Verona 4-2, and Roma were losing to Cagliari 1-0. The Inter fans began celebrating, believing that the Scudetto was theirs. But then Cheivo scored, Roma scored, and then Roma scored again, and the crowd became quiet. When it was all over, both Roma and Inter had won, so the Scudetto will not be decided until next weekend, the final weekend of the season.

In other news, Chelsea beat Wigan Athletic 8-0, winning them the Premier League title. Believe it or not, eight is not the largest number of goals conceded by Wigan this season-- they gave up nine against Tottenham back in November. (Remember this the next time some Premier League-supremacist starts going on about the UK being the land of fair play and competitive football.)

Below: Chelsea celebrate their championship

Mid-week soccer update

In addition to fighting to win this year's Scudetto, Inter and Roma also faced each other in the finals of this year's Coppa Italia. Inter won 1-0, on a goal by Diego Milito. (See video below)

Apparently, at the end of the match, things got pretty vicious.


In other news, Tottenham Hotspur (pictured celebrating below) beat Manchester City 1-0 to claim fourth place in the Premier League. Spurs will be in next year's Champions League. Manchester City will not.

Bizarre and disturbing match report: Lazio 0 - Inter 2

Above: Lazio fans react to one of Inter's goals

This was a very odd and unpleasant game to watch. Half the Lazio players appeared to be trying their best, while the others just seemed to walk around the pitch like zombies. The Lazio fans were completely rooting for their team to lose so as to foil the Scudetto hopes of cross-town rivals Roma. The way the crowd reacted to everything, you might have been fooled into thinking that the match was being played in Milan. It was not, despite the whistles every time a Lazio player did something useful and the constant cheers for Inter.

Below: Lazio's goalie, Muslera, annoys the home fans by diving bravely for the ball.

Highlights are below. Inter are now back in first place with two games left.

Match report: Milan 1 - Fiorentina 0

• Goals scored: Ronaldinho 77' (penalty)
• What happened: Milan was awarded a somewhat problematic penalty. Ronaldinho scored on the kick. (See video below)

• Why this win was important: Milan need to finish in third place in order to guarantee a spot in the Champions League next season. Fourth place may not be good enough, because if Inter fail to beat Bayern Munich in the Champions League final (and not on penalties), then Serie A may lose its fourth Champions League spot. (See correction below)
• Milan players who received red cards today: Ambrosini
• Strange statistics cited by today's match commentator: According to the man on the television, today was Dida's 300th Serie A appearance in goal for Milan. In that time, Dida has allowed 2,423 goals. This would mean that Dida has allowed slightly more than 8 goals per game.
• Strange things heard on today's broadcast: There are appeared to be a large group of children at today's match. They could be heard chanting things such as, "Milan! Milan! Milan!" or "Borriello! Borriello! Borriello!" (when Borriello momentarily appeared to have hurt his ankle). Even more strangely, they appeared to have brought some sort of annoying plastic horn with them to help them in their chants. Two of the other popular chants were, "Milan! Honk! Honk! Milan! Honk! Honk! Milan! Honk! Honk!" and "Milan! Honk! Honk! Honk! Milan! Honk! Honk! Honk! Milan! Honk! Honk! Honk!" At times it appeared that the adult Milan fans were cheering extra loud in an attempt to drown the children out.
• What else happened in Serie A today: Roma beat Parma, to temporarily take back first place. Inter play Lazio tomorrow.
• What this match teaches us: Milan's only goal-scoring strategy seems to be falling down in the hope of being awarded penalties. Sometimes it works.

Highlights are below:

Correction: I believe that this is not completely accurate. The reduction in Champions League spots apparently would not take effect until after next season. Milan have guaranteed themselves a spot in next year's Champions League no matter what.

Champions League update: Barca 1 - Inter 0

Above: Thiago Motta is about to receive a red card.

Below: Thiago Motta receives a red card.

Yesterday, Inter Milan lost 1-0 to Barcelona. However, they won the two legs of the Champions League semi-final by an aggregate score of 3-2. They will face Bayern Munich in the final on May 22. Here are some random thoughts about the match:

• Thiago Motta's straight red card for pushing Sergio Busquets in the face was probably not deserved. It did not matter in the end, though.
• Pique's goal for Barca was clearly offside. It did not matter in the end, though.
• Inter came to defend their two-goal lead and played even more defensively after going down to ten men. By the second half, Barca goalie Victor Valdes was basically playing up at the halfway line.
• Inter's goalie, Julio Cesar, is very, very good. I hate him, and I hate the fact that he doesn't play for a team I like.
• For a fleeting second, I was filled with admiration for how well Inter were coping with adversity. Then I remembered how much I dislike Inter and was mad at myself for thinking such ridiculous things.
• I am also mad at Barca.
• The current Inter squad are basically the 1990s New York Yankees of European soccer-- merciless, unrelenting robot/bullies who always win when they need to.

Above and below: Inter coach Jose Mourinho and Barca keeper Victor Valdes push each other after the match. (Video can be found below.)

For match highlights, click here.

Serie A update: Roma lose

Heading into last weekend, Roma were in first place, with a one point lead over Inter. On Saturday, Inter beat Atalanta to move back into first place. On Sunday, Roma played Sampdoria. They got out to a 1-0 lead, but then collapsed and lost 2-1. It was Roma's first Serie A loss in 25 games. After the game, Roma players could be seen crying (and Sampdoria players could be seen running around in their underwear). Roma are now in second place, and Sampdoria have moved into fourth, just ahead of Palermo (who beat third place Milan 3-1).

Maicon puts Inter back in first place

On Friday, Inter defeated Juventus 2-0, thus putting Inter (at least temporarily) back in first place in the Serie A standings. The winning goal was scored by Maicon, and is, unfortunately, worth a look.

Milan are still in third place, six points out. On the positive side, at least Juventus lost.

Match report: Milan 2 - Catania 2

• Goals scored: Maxi Lopez 12', Ricchiuti 43', Borriello 48', Borriello 81'
• What happened: Milan played a terrible first half and a much better second half. Inzaghi almost scored the game winner in stoppage time.
• Ways to tell how desperate Milan were to win this match: The large number of fouls committed by the Milan players; the large number of players who fell down in the penalty area in the hopes of earning a penalty kick
• Milan players who received yellow cards: Ambrosini, Pirlo, Thiago Silva, Borriello
• Milan players who fell down in an attempt to earn a penalty: Huntelaar, Borriello (twice), Ronaldinho (twice), Ambrosini, Inzaghi (twice), Pirlo
• Number of penalties awarded to Milan today: Zero.
• What this match teaches us: Milan will probably not win the Scudetto this year.

Highlights are below:

Here are the current Serie A standings. Notice that Inter are no longer in first place.

LEAGUE TABLE

• • GER
  • SPA
  • ITA
  • FRA

• 		Pl	W	D	L	+/-	Pts
  1	AS Roma	33	20	8	5	23	68
  2	Internazionale	33	19	10	4	33	67
  3	AC Milan	33	18	10	5	21	64
  4	Palermo	33	15	9	9	8	54
  5	Sampdoria	33	15	9	9	3	54
  6	Juventus	33	15	6	12	2	51
  7	Napoli	33	12	13	8	4	49
  8	Fiorentina	33	13	7	13	7	46
  9	Parma	33	12	10	11	-6	46
  10	Genoa	33	12	9	12	-1	45
  11	Bari	33	11	10	12	-1	43
  12	Cagliari	33	11	7	15	-1	40
  13	Catania	33	9	12	12	0	39
  14	Chievo	33	10	8	15	-5	38
  15	Udinese	33	10	8	15	-6	38
  16	Lazio	33	8	13	12	-5	37
  17	Bologna	33	9	8	16	-14	35
  18	Atalanta	33	8	7	18	-12	31
  19	Siena	33	7	8	18	-22	29
  20	Livorno	33	6	8	19	-28	26