Match report: Milan 0 - Bari 0

• Goals scored: None.
• Milan's offense: Inept, unimaginative, uninspired, feeble, tired, crabby, frustrated, old.
• Milan's defense: Don't worry if your defenders are beaten again and again-- just let Marco Storari make yet another unbelievable save.
• Number of unbelievable saves by Marco Storari: 4.
• Number of players who are well-loved by manager Leonardo and get to play all the time despite visual evidence that they are walking disasters: 2- Oddo and Abate.
• Number of world-famous players whose talents appear to have completely disappeared: 1- Ronaldinho.
• Number of people whose jobs are in serious jeopardy: 1- Leonardo (see photo below).

• Number of teams who deserved to win today: 1- Bari.
• What this match teaches us: Milan is currently doomed.

Match report: Udinese 1- Milan 0

• Goals scored: Di Natale 22'
• Milan's offense: Milan held the ball for much of the game, but they did not look close to scoring, especially for the first two-thirds. Pato and Inzaghi looked sluggish and unimaginative. When Ronaldinho and Huntelaar were brought on to replace the two starters, things became more exciting. But they still did not score.
• A word to describe the match: Brutal. It was surprising that no one was seriously hurt.
• Best impersonation of Gattuso: Flamini for getting two yellow cards in under 90 seconds. (See photo above)
• It is not nice to point fingers, but other players played badly also: Massimo Oddo spent most of the evening ruining the offside trap and single-handedly putting Udinese players on onside. Also, Gianluca Zambrotta does not appear to be able to kick the ball with his left foot.
• What this match teaches us: It may never be possible to figure out why this team can't score goals.

Poor Pippo...

Super Pippo (Milan's Fillipo Inzaghi) has not been chosen by Donadoni (the Azzuri's coach) to represent Italy in Euro 2008. Meanwhile, Boriello, Di Natale, Del Piero, and Quagliarella were all picked. This means only Ambrosini, Gattuso, and Pirlo will represent (no Oddo- due to injury-, Bonera or Nesta at defence) AC Milan. The Italian team will be very Inter and Juventus dominated. Well, actually Milan has about the same amount as all the other teams. But still.