Match Report: Vancouver Whitecaps 0 - DC United 1

• Goals scored: Neagle 61' (penalty)
• What happened: Vancouver dominated the match almost from start to finish-- they hit the crossbar and goalpost multiple times but could not score. DC were awarded a questionable penalty early in the second half and scored. Vancouver were awarded a penalty late in second half stoppage time-- Cristian Techera's kick hit the post.
• Who sang the national anthems: A child
• Players in today's match that I recognized because they used to play for the Seattle Sounders: Fredy Montero and Sebastian Le Toux (Update-- According to my friend Michael, DC United goalscorer Lamar Neagle is a native of Federal Way, WA and former Sounder as well. Additionally, Michael says that his wife of many years has always had a crush on Neagle.)
• Question I had while watching the match: How do the Tyranno-Vision screen and Roof Opening Apparatus (pictured below) not fall down on to the field and crush the players?

• Other question I had while watching the match: How does one get a job on the Stretcher Crew (pictured below-- the four guys in white vests)? 

• Final questions I had while watching the match: Why did they water the pitch at halftime if it is artificial? Or was the truck that drove around spreading sand instead?
• How we got tickets: Free from friends
• Where the teams were in the MLS standings coming into the match: Vancouver-- mid-table in the Western Conference; DC United-- bottom of the the Eastern Conference
• Things the Vancouver fans did not like: The officiating, especially after Neagle converted the penalty kick for DC United (video below)

•  Things that disappointed the Vancouver fans: Techera missing the potentially equalizing penalty kick in stoppage time (video below)

• What this match teaches us: They still play the Vancouver Whitecaps Anthem before games.

Match report: Italy 3 - Ukraine 0 (Quarterfinal 2006 World Cup)

• Goals scored: Zambrotta 6', Toni 59', Toni 69'
• What happened: Italy defeated Ukraine in the quarterfinals of the 2006 FIFA World Cup. They advanced to the semifinals against Germany.
• Players who appeared in the match and who had played at AC Milan during the previous season: Gattuso, Pirlo, Shevchenko
• Players who appeared in the match and who would later play for AC Milan: Zambrotta, Oddo
• Players who were on the bench for this match and who had played at AC Milan during the previous season: Inzaghi, Gilardino, Nesta
• Players who were on the bench for this match and who would later play for AC Milan: None
• Players who played in the match and who I wish played for Milan: Fabio Cannavaro
• Players whose brothers played in this match and who I wish played for Milan: Paolo Cannavaro
• Questions raised by this match: Was this Gianluca Zambrotta's greatest career moment?
• Who did I root for the first time I saw this match? Ukraine
• Things the ESPN announcers did that were annoying: Mispronounce many names ( "Zambratto," "Purrlo," "Cam-rone-a-nay-see," probably almost all of the Ukraine players' names)
• Injured former players/Juventus staff members whose recent scandal-related suicide attempts were frequently mentioned during the broadcast: Gianluca Pessotto
• Relatively amusing injuries to Italy players: Gattuso 14' (kneed in back), Gattuso 26' (wrist stomped on), Cannavaro 47' (hit in groin by ball after Ukraine player missed header), Buffon 50' (bumped head on goalpost making save)
• Words to describe most of the Ukraine players' hair: long, blond, stringy, Owen Wilson-like
• What this match teaches us: Why AC Milan insisted on acquiring Zambrotta (pictured at top) from Barcelona

Below: Ukraine captain and former Milan striker Andriy Shevchenko

Video highlights are below:

Match report: Milan 3 - Juventus 0

• Goals scored: Antonini 14', Ronaldinho 29', 67'
• What happened: Antonini scored the first goal of his AC Milan career. Ronaldinho scored two goals. The Juventus fans set off numerous explosions and sang derogatory songs and had to be warned over the public address system that play would be halted if they did not stop.
• Aggregate score of the two Milan-Juventus matches this season: 6-0 (Milan)
• Reasons why fans of both teams were unhappy: Juventus finished in seventh place and had a truly terrible season (for them). Milan did about as well as can be expected and finished in third. Milan fans are upset that the team has not spent more money to bring in top quality players in recent years and also that first year coach Leonardo (pictured above congratulating Antonini on his goal and pictured below being bid farewell by his team) is being forced out by Silvio Berlusconi. The fans repeatedly sang songs in honor of Leonardo until he acknowledged them with a wave.

Below: Milan fans with an enormous set of banners. The internet translates the bottom one as "President failed AWOL".

• Milan personnel who officially said goodbye at today's match: Leonardo and Favalli
• Milan personnel who may have played their last match for the team today: Dida, Inzaghi, Ronaldinho, and about a dozen others
• What this match teaches us: Milan's Serie A 2009-2010 season is over. This means that my daughter will soon be home from her (almost) year in Brazil.

Below are highlights:

Below you can watch the Milan players and staff force Leonardo to come out on the pitch for one last goodbye:

Match report: Genoa 1 - Milan 0

Due to concerns about possible fan violence, today's match between Genoa and Milan was played in front of an empty stadium. Genoa won 1-0. I believe, however, that Milan have officially clinched third place in the Serie A because of today's 1-1 tie between Palermo and Sampdoria.

Bizarre and disturbing match report: Lazio 0 - Inter 2

Above: Lazio fans react to one of Inter's goals

This was a very odd and unpleasant game to watch. Half the Lazio players appeared to be trying their best, while the others just seemed to walk around the pitch like zombies. The Lazio fans were completely rooting for their team to lose so as to foil the Scudetto hopes of cross-town rivals Roma. The way the crowd reacted to everything, you might have been fooled into thinking that the match was being played in Milan. It was not, despite the whistles every time a Lazio player did something useful and the constant cheers for Inter.

Below: Lazio's goalie, Muslera, annoys the home fans by diving bravely for the ball.

Highlights are below. Inter are now back in first place with two games left.

Match report: Milan 1 - Fiorentina 0

• Goals scored: Ronaldinho 77' (penalty)
• What happened: Milan was awarded a somewhat problematic penalty. Ronaldinho scored on the kick. (See video below)

• Why this win was important: Milan need to finish in third place in order to guarantee a spot in the Champions League next season. Fourth place may not be good enough, because if Inter fail to beat Bayern Munich in the Champions League final (and not on penalties), then Serie A may lose its fourth Champions League spot. (See correction below)
• Milan players who received red cards today: Ambrosini
• Strange statistics cited by today's match commentator: According to the man on the television, today was Dida's 300th Serie A appearance in goal for Milan. In that time, Dida has allowed 2,423 goals. This would mean that Dida has allowed slightly more than 8 goals per game.
• Strange things heard on today's broadcast: There are appeared to be a large group of children at today's match. They could be heard chanting things such as, "Milan! Milan! Milan!" or "Borriello! Borriello! Borriello!" (when Borriello momentarily appeared to have hurt his ankle). Even more strangely, they appeared to have brought some sort of annoying plastic horn with them to help them in their chants. Two of the other popular chants were, "Milan! Honk! Honk! Milan! Honk! Honk! Milan! Honk! Honk!" and "Milan! Honk! Honk! Honk! Milan! Honk! Honk! Honk! Milan! Honk! Honk! Honk!" At times it appeared that the adult Milan fans were cheering extra loud in an attempt to drown the children out.
• What else happened in Serie A today: Roma beat Parma, to temporarily take back first place. Inter play Lazio tomorrow.
• What this match teaches us: Milan's only goal-scoring strategy seems to be falling down in the hope of being awarded penalties. Sometimes it works.

Highlights are below:

Correction: I believe that this is not completely accurate. The reduction in Champions League spots apparently would not take effect until after next season. Milan have guaranteed themselves a spot in next year's Champions League no matter what.

Match report: Cagliari 2 - Milan 3

Above: Davide Astori right after scoring an own goal to put Milan ahead 3-2

• Goals scored: Borriello 7', Ragatzu 17', Huntelaar 19', Matri 32', Astori (own goal) 38'
• What happened: Five goals were scored in the first half. The last time these two teams met, seven goals were scored.
• What else happened: Both Inter and Roma won, so Milan are still in third place.
• Questions about this game: Was Huntelaar's goal from an even longer distance than the one Pirlo scored against Real Madrid in the Champions League?
• What this match teaches us: Neither team seems to be able to play defense.

Match report: Milan 1 - Lazio 1

• Goals scored: Borriello 18' (penalty), Lichtsteiner 32'
• What happened: Roma beat Inter on Saturday to move into second place. Milan needed to win in order to keep pace and move one point back of Inter. Everyone tried very hard, but Milan only managed a tie.
• Milan players who were unavailable today: Nesta, Pato, Huntelaar, Abbiati, Beckham, Bonera, Mancini (all due to injury); Ronaldinho, Pirlo (due to suspensions)
• Milan players who played well today: Flamini, Abate, Antonini
• Strangest quote by the announcer today: "I've just been informed that there is a possibility of the game being stopped for a time due to the fans singing derogatory songs about Clarence Seedorf." (The fans in question were supporters of Lazio.)
• What this match teaches us: Milan may have too many players injured to compete for the Scudetto.

Highlights are below:

Match report: Parma 1 - Milan 0

Milan gave up a goal in the 90th minute and lost. Inter beat Livorno, so Milan are tied for second place with Roma, four points back of Inter. Roma play Inter today.

Above: Parma supporters entering the stadium

Below: The winning goal

Match report: Milan 1 - Napoli 1

• Goals scored: Campagnaro 13', Inzaghi 26'
• What happened: With Inter's 1-1 tie against Palermo yesterday, Milan would have moved into first place in the Serie A if they had won this match. They did not, however.
• Milan players who were unable to play today due to injury: Nesta, Bonera, Borriello, Abate, Beckham (there are more)
• Milan players who returned from injury to start today's match but were unable to finish the match due to injury: Pato
• Combined age of Milan's starting eleven: 336 years old (average age=30.545454 years old)
• Milan players who celebrated their birthday today: Ronaldinho
• Ronaldinho's current age: 30 years old
• Treatments commonly used by Serie A trainers to help injured players who are lying on the pitch: Pouring water on the affected area, spraying the affected area with magic spray, massage, slapping injured players lovingly but repeatedly in the face
• Milan's place in the standings: Second, one point behind Inter
• What this match teaches us: Milan are still in second place

Match report: Milan 1 - Chievo Verona 0

Clarence Seedorf (above- being chased by his teammates after scoring the game winning goal in stoppage time) helped Milan pull within one point of Serie A leaders Inter.

On the unfortunate side, David Beckham (below) was kicked in the face and then later injured his achilles tendon. He joins the many injured Milan players-- Nesta, Pato, Bonera, etc.

Most importantly, however, Milan are now only one point behind Inter.

Match report: Roma 0 - Milan 0

• What happened: Roma dominated the first ten minutes. Milan dominated the rest of the match but couldn't score.
• Milan players who did well: Flamini
• What this match teaches us: Milan are still in second place. Manchester United are up next.

Highlights are below:

Match report: Milan 3 - Atalanta 1

I didn't get to see this match, either. Goals by Pato (two) and Borriello. Pato also appeared to get injured.

Match report: Bari 0 - Milan 2

I don't really have time for a full match report, but I will mention the following highlights-- Borriello's goal, his hug for coach Leonardo after scoring, Abbiati's penalty save, and the always excellent black road uniforms.

Match report: Milan 3 - Udinese 2

• Goals scored: Huntelaar 7', Pato 39', Floro Flores 45', Huntelaar 57', Di Natale 86'
• What happened: Milan kept scoring but also played sloppily, so they kept letting Udinese back in the match. I spent most of the match worrying about injuries.
• Milan players who could not play due to injury: Seedorf, Borriello, Antonini
• Milan players who returned today from injury: Nesta, Pato
• Milan players who had to leave early due to possible injury: Mancini, Thiago Silva (!)
• Milan players who appear to be quite rusty despite having scored a goal: Pato
• Milan player who made the pass that led to each of Milan's goals: Ronaldinho. The second one, a long pass down the middle of the field to Pato, was especially nice.
• Famous visitors to the San Siro to watch the match: Sir Alex Ferguson
• Strange sightings from today's match: Escorting the referees down the tunnel to the pitch were three men dressed as admirals/hotel doormen. (Sorry, no photo was available)
• What this match teaches us: Manchester United are coming on Tuesday.

Match report: Bologna 0 - Milan 0

• Goals scored: None
• What happened: Milan controlled the ball for almost the entire game, passing it around to each other in the middle of the field. Ronaldinho hit the crossbar, Ambrosini hit right where the goal post meets the crossbar. Bologna occasionally counter-attacked. No one scored.
• Things I have never seen before: Milan wearing red shorts (see photo above); newly signed Mancini starting for Milan.
• Things I have not seen in a long time: Bonera back from injury.
• Milan players who did well today: Pirlo, Abate
• Milan players who basically did nothing worth mentioning today: Ronaldinho, Seedorf, Borriello
• Milan players who are still injured: Pato, Nesta
• Bizarre interruptions to the broadcast on Fox Soccer Channel: In the 81st minute, the broadcast signal abruptly changed to C-SPAN, where Senator John McCain was talking in a Senate committee room. Then it changed to the Emergency Alert System, on which Civil Authorities were broadcasting a Required Monthly Test. About one minute of the game was interrupted. I was hoping that Milan would score during that time, but they didn't.
• What this match teaches us: Sometimes scoring goals seems easy, and sometimes it doesn't.

There is really no point in posting highlights today.

Match report: Milan 1 - Livorno 1

Above: Cristiano Lucarelli scores to tie the game. Despite the many arms raised in the air by the Milan players, Lucarelli was not offside.

• Goals scored: Ambrosini 44', Lucarelli 53'
• What happened: Ambrosini scored; Ambrosini almost scored again; Ronaldinho hit the post; Huntelaar shot high (several times). Favalli failed to clear the ball in the box, and Lucarelli scored.
• The only upside of the match: Livorno are my second-favorite Serie A team. Their goal was scored by a communist, their fans sing revolutionary songs, and their coach is the coolest looking coach in the entire world (see photo below).
• What this match teaches us: Milan better get their act together, because they play Manchester United in the Champions League in February.

Below: Livorno coach Serse Cosmi (right) talks to Livorno president Aldo Spinelli before today's match. Earlier in the week, Cosmi attempted to resign but was lured back by Spinelli.

Highlights are below:

Match report: Inter 2 - Milan 0

• Goals scored: Milito 10', Pandev 65'
• What happened: Milan were up a man most of the match (Sneijder having been sent off in the first half on a straight red card for sarcastically clapping at the referee) but still never really had a chance. Seedorf and Borriello came close on headers in the second half, and Ronaldinho had a penalty kick stopped in stoppage time. Nesta did not play, but his substitute, Favalli, did not do half badly.
• What this match teaches us: Inter are still the better team.

If you must watch the highlights, they are below.

Match report: Milan 4 - Siena 0

Above: Borriello scores

• Goals scored: Ronaldinho (penalty) 12', Borriello 28', Ronaldinho 72', Ronaldinho 89'
• What happened: Milan are in second place in Serie A; Siena are in last. Siena lost their goalkeeper to a red card in the first ten minutes. I spent most of the game worrying that Milan players would get hurt.
• Milan players who scored a hat trick today: Ronaldinho
• Milan players whose goals are always spectacular-looking: Borriello-- today he took a pass from Pirlo and volleyed it in even though he was turned away from goal.
• Milan players who appeared to be possibly injured today: Nesta, Pirlo, Gattuso, Flamini and Antonini
• Milan players who were taken off either because they actually were injured or as a precaution: Nesta and Flamini
• Order of excellence of Milan's regular starting defenders this year: Thiago Silva, Nesta, Antonini, Abate
• How David Beckham has done so far: Nothing special
• Most interesting rumor reported by the announcer: Last week the Milan players were watching Inter play Siena on television. Inter was losing late but came back to win in injury time. When the game was over, one of the Milan players was so angry that they destroyed the television set.
• Who Milan play next: Inter
• What this match teaches us: Next Sunday's match against Inter is very, very important.

Above: Milan coach Leonardo stands on the sidelines

Below: David Beckham looks at the ball

Highlights are below:

Match report: Juventus 0 - Milan 3

Above-- Nesta celebrating his goal

Below-- Gattuso in action

• Goals scored: Nesta 29', Ronaldinho 72', Ronaldinho 88'
• What happened: Second place Milan beat third place Juventus in Torino. Despite the excellent result, the match was sort of boring.
• How the goals were scored: All three goals were from corner kicks, which apparently Juventus do not know how to defend anymore. Actually, to be fair, I am not sure how well Juventus defended on the last goal, because the pitch was completely obscured, either by fog or else smoke from the fire set by angry fans. (See photos below)
• What this match teaches us: Milan are the only team left who can catch Inter.

Highlights are below: